Estate Planning for Your Elder - The Best Friend a Caregiver Can Have!

By Kirk Harney
How important to a caregiver is a good estate plan? I started managing my parents lives six months before my dad died and continued until my mom died almost four years later, and I think it might be most important thing to help your parents do.I was lucky. My father had the foresight to get everything set up, explain it all to me without my having to ask, and put me in charge as trustee six months before he died as my mother was starting down the dementia road.

We've all heard the horror stories about people dying without wills and the state getting all the assets. We've heard the stories of probate and how much work it is, and how expensive it is. To me, the saddest part of these stories is that it does not have to be this way. With some relatively simple planning, your parents' wishes can be carried out much more easily, efficiently, and quickly after they pass on.

I am not going to try to explain wills, trusts, advance directives, power of attorneys, taxes, guardianship, DNR, or competency here. My purpose is to implore you, as caregivers or potential caregivers, to get the legal advice you need to help your parents get this important duty done. It's does not have to be expensive. My parents set up everything they needed for a couple of thousand dollars, and there are online services that are even less. You will need to decide how much personal service and attention you need, probably based on how complicated or large a potential estate may be, but get it done!

Taking care of your elderly parents is a demanding and draining experience, both mentally and physically, but it can also be a time of renewed closeness, love, and appreciation for each other.

My time with my parents as they died was much better because of the estate planning my father did. I was able to cope better and get the job done because of it.

I always welcome comments, and please share this with anyone you know struggling with this issue!

Kirk Harney managed his parents' lives for almost four years as they passed away from cancer, stroke, pneumonia and Alzheimer's. He is passionate about helping other caregivers cope and maintain healthy family relationships. More information can be found at